The Godfather Parts 1-3

       I never saw The Godfather movies in their entirety before, to which i was constantly ridiculed for in film school.  Last week Mark chose the first one for me to watch(part of our Movie Chess Game), and I ended up watching I and II the same day and III a few later.  Since I'm so late to the party and since they are held in such high esteem I feel that writing any sort of "review" would just be a dick move.  Plus what else can I say that hasn't been said a billion times.  All I'll say is that i liked Part III more than i liked Part II (Hate emails expected AND welcome)

The Godfather Trilogy - 6/5

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

           Let me start by saying that this is the first review I've written in a long long time, and what better way to start then with In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale 

Hands down, this is the best Uwe Boll video game movie.  Granted thats like saying one dog turd smells better than the other.  With a huge A and B list cast, the movie is essentially Bolls attempt to make Lord of the Rings.  And this isn't an opinion, a majority of the scenes and locations are straight out of Peter Jacksons epic, from the Tree Lesbians taking the place of Ents and Lothlorien to the shot for shot march to Helms Deep. Even Gimli is in the movie and is auspiciously absent from the LotR scenes. 

Jason Staham does his thing, giving us a better performance then both Transporter sequels. His character, the lost Prince of Ehb turned farmer is aptly named "Farmer." Ray Liotta is type casted as the mafioso villain, complete with Italian accent.  The real scene stealer is Matthew Lillard, giving us the shittiest nobleman accent I've ever heard.  Maybe if Freddie Prince Jr was in this Lillard would have tried harder, but I doubt it.  And Lee Lee Sobieski, well she's just the worse.  Clarie Forlani, still hot.

All in all i think In the Name of the King is a better movie then all the other Uwe Boll video game movies combined, and i can say that i may not have seen every Darren Aronofsky movie, i have seen every Uwe Boll.  I learned a lot about myself right there.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - 2.5/5

No comments:

Post a Comment